Like virtually every career teacher, I encountered bullying among students. Most of us also encounter bullying in adult relationships. Too often we don't think of it that way. But it's clear to me that children see adults bully, and they bully too.
After reading a letter in the Billings Gazette September 23 by an ordained minister and citizen of Big Horn County, I decided to set my usual column aside and offer this letter on adult bullying:
"It is encouraging to see public school officials at last recognizing and taking steps to prevent bullying among children and older students. However, we have ignored the equally significant problem of bullying among adults, especially as it plays out in the workplace. We are incredibly naïve, or in denial, when we fail to take seriously the bullying behavior we adults display almost routinely. Where do we suppose our children learn to be bullies?
"Considerable research about bullying in the workplace has been done in Scandinavian countries and the United Kingdom, as well as in the United States. Yet little public attention has been given to the prevalence of such bullying and to the negative impact it has on the individuals who are targeted, as well the organizations where it occurs.
"Bullying is a costly behavioral disease that is both individual and corporate in nature. An individual can act as a bully, but an entire organization can have a bullying nature as well. Bullying consists of repeated, intentional actions designed to harm (and intimidate) the target person or persons. Some examples of bullying behavior are: ridiculing or accusing a person in front of others, being physically or verbally intimidating, damaging a person's reputation by rumor or gossip, setting impossible or conflicting deadlines in order to undermine a person's productivity, treating an individual differently from the rest of the work group, lying about a person's performance and retaliating against a person for complaining.
"Researchers suggest that the majority of bullies found in the workplace are women and, overwhelmingly, their targets are other women. Studies also suggest that people who demonstrate bullying behavior have themselves been the targets of bullies. This contagious nature of bullying is a great reason to recognize it when it happens and address it promptly.
"But addressing the bullying that takes place at work can be a difficult and risky undertaking. Remember, bullying is all about wielding power and control over those who are less powerful and instilling fear in them and any others who might be looking on. Confronting the bully can cost status, relationships, even one's job. Too often a person's bullying behavior becomes the elephant in the room that no one wants to confront.
"That was the case when I went to work as a chaplain for a hospice organization a few years ago. Beginning with the first staff meeting I attended, I observed the supervisor belittling certain workers in front of everyone else. My co-workers were quick to explain that the supervisor had behaved that way for as long as they had known her; but no one dared to do anything about it for fear of losing their job.
"Sometimes I came across co-workers in the restrooms crying after an encounter with this supervisor. One of my co-workers became frantic when she received a phone call from the supervisor, telling my co-worker she wanted to meet with her. My co-worker was terrified that she was going to be fired without warning. She had seen that happen before. And a month later she saw it happen again when I was suddenly fired without warning after first trying to address the bullying behavior with the supervisor herself and then reporting it to the human resources department.
"This is an example of the devastation bullying can cause. Studies of individuals who have been the targets of bullying show that they can suffer from depression, anxiety to the point of having digestive and sleep disturbances and stress to the point of developing post-traumatic stress disorder. Lost income and difficulties in relationships with family and friends can be additional costs.
"There are also significant costs to organizations that tolerate bullying among their employees, including: employee absences, grievances, resignations and requests for transfer; difficulties meeting organizational goals; legal costs associated with investigations and lawsuits; and damage to the organization's reputation.
"It does not make sense to stand against bullying among our children and yet remain quiet about bullying among us adults, especially in the workplace. Bullying behavior is destructive, costly and wrong wherever it develops."
—From a letter to the Billings Gazette Sepember 23, 2013 by Catherine Card
The following, not in the Big Horn County News, are links and information on bullying:
http://www.bullyingprevention.org/repository//Best%20Practices%20PDFs/AdultBulliesAtWork.pdf
http://www.washingtonea.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=470
Adult-to-adult bullying affects workplaces throughout the world, often taking the form of sexual harassment or illegal discrimination. Bullying is very prevalent in the United States; however, bullying that does not take the form of illegal discrimination or sexual harassment is not illegal. The research reveals the dramatic consequences that this type of bullying has on individuals and workplaces. Targets of bullies often suffer from serious health conditions as a result of being bullied and workplace efficiency is severely reduced because of the overwhelming strain that bullying can place on targets.
In schools, adult-to-adult bullying can have even more dire effects, such as influencing student behavior and legitimizing student bullying tactics. Because of this, it is very important that school employees familiarize themselves with how to effectively deal with bullies.
http://www.theravive.com/research/The-Psychology-Of-Bullying
Abstract
Bullying is a serious issue that is faced by many people, and can leave a child to live in complete fear. It is destructive, abusive, and intolerable to exist in any home or school. There are all types of bullies and all types of victims yet bullies have certain commonalities as do the victims. Bullying can cause lifelong psychological effects that may require therapy in order to overcome. In more serious cases, the bullying has gotten so bad that the victim chooses to take their own life just to escape the bullying they endure. It is helpful to recognize the behavior of a bully as well as the signs that someone is a victim as the sooner the signs are spotted the sooner help can arrive for all parties involved. Here you will find the signs and symptoms of the bullying/victim relationship and find out what can be done to curb this behavior and help someone who is in a toxic situation.
Bullies have existed since the beginning of time as have the victims who have suffered from the bullying. With so many different ways to bully others in this day in age, it is getting harder and harder to control it and protect the victims. The age old question though is what makes a bully a bully? Who are bullies and what are their motivations? Why are certain people targets of bullies more than others? This paper will look into bullying from a psychological standpoint and attempt to take a look into the mind of a bully. There will also be exploration into the types of bullying that are faced today which are staggering considering the new world of technology that we now live in.
http://www.lifeafteradultbullying.com/
Welcome to Life After Adult Bullying
Having been a target of bullies in the past l have a deep dislike of them. I decided to create this site because adult bullying is too often ignored, with looks of disbelief from people that such should be going on between adults.
Knowing the way bullying can destroy lives, it is time for people to start to fight back and this is my contribution towards that fight
David Graber
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