Seeing Monsters

My family was discussing Halloween, so I offered my daughter a chance to guest write this week's column:

 

"Halloween came around when my son was almost three.  Though I tried to steer him away from the monstrous aisles of masks in the grocery store, he caught glimpses of twisted, distorted faces, bloody eyeballs, and rotting fangs.  He was repulsed and fascinated, asking, "Mommy …what's THAT??!!"  He also developed a fascination with skeletons.

"Having tried to create a nourishing, positive environment for my children, I wasn't sure how to help them make sense of the grotesque depictions of the human form that saturate our environment at Halloween time.  I opted for Biblical truth:  Psalm 139 in the Bible declares that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made…. Your works are wonderful!"  And what is a skeleton, but a beautiful creation of God, designed to give our bodies strength and form?  We read books, built our own cardboard skeletons, and marvelled at how our bodies work.

"But the whole thing got me thinking… why monsters?  Why do we take something that God has made good and beautiful like a skeleton, twist it into ugliness, and abdicate it to the realm of Satan?

"Tom Fox, one of four members of the Christian Peacemaker Team who were kidnapped by terrorists in Baghdad near the beginning of the Iraq war, had some answers.  Before he was abducted, he wrote a blog on the power of evil that arises from dehumanizing our enemy.   'As soon as I rob a fellow human being of his or her humanity by sticking a dehumanizing label on them, I begin the process that can have, as an end result, torture, injury and death….'   If we can see an enemy as subhuman, we can kill without remorse.

 

Looking at corpse-like mannequins and masks decorating stores and homes around town, I concluded that these "monsters" give us a paradigm for dehumanizing our enemy.  Rather than celebrate God's creation, monsters propagate cyclical violence and warfare.  Newspapers from post-Civil war times used labels such as "renegades" and "hostiles" to label plains Indians who resisted confinement on reservations.  Such labels justified the killing of women and children at Sand Creek in Colorado in November, 1864, and more.   The Sioux and Cheyenne felt completely justified in subsequently wiping out Custer and the 7th Calvary.   "Monster" slayers become monsters in their enemy's eyes, and the cycle perpetuates.

"Jesus's life and teaching strongly fought the evil power of dehumanization. 'Love your enemy, pray for those who persecute you,' wasn't just teaching us to be nice, but providing a powerful tool to stop the cycle of returning evil for evil.  St. Paul also admonishes, 'return good for evil...in doing so, you will heap burning coals on his head.'  Burning coals were mentioned as a means of purification (presumably painful) in Isaiah Ch. 1, and the head must signify the mind or thoughts.  If we treat our enemy with respect and compassion, reflecting humanity rather than monstrosity, we unleash a spiritual force of affirmation of life against the monsterization so attractive and repulsive at the same time.

Such was the outcome for many who put Jesus' teachings to the test in nonviolent resistance.  British police officers realized the power of beating down unarmed and nonresistant protesters in India didn't work, and eventually Britain granted India independence.  Police officers and store owners in the South could not hide their brutality attacking blacks seated peacefully in restaurants. The laws weren't changed because they recovered a godly conscience, but because the power of their violence was unmasked, and taken away.  Such nationwide change did not come without cost. Ghandi in India and Martin Luther King were both assassinated, and  Tom Fox was the only one of his four companions to be killed by his abductors. Like Jesus, he may have prayed, "Forgive them Father, for they don't know what they're doing."

"This Halloween, as we welcome our "monsters" onto our porches for trick-or-treats, we know deep down each one is a neighbor's child, and wouldn't think of harming or hating them. But other human beings in our world, even some in Big Horn County, have been labeled disrespectfully. Even our national media joins in turning certain people into expendable sub-humans because of religion, ethnicity, politics, economic status, addictions or livelihood. With some of this labeling comes an assumption we would be better off without them.

As Paul reminds us in Ephesians, our battle is not against flesh and blood (human beings) but against powers and principalities of dark forces in the heavenly realms.  Let those of us who would be Christians resist society's call to plop monster masks over people we see as our enemy in our community, nation and world.  Instead, let's clothe ourselves with Christ.  

Fox, Tom.  Christian Peacemaker Teams Chttp://www.cpt.org/cptnet/2005/12/03/iraq-most-recent-reflection-tom-fox-ampquotwhy-are-we-hereampquot. accessed 10/27/13  

"Jesus resisted this. Time and again he respected those labeled and dehumanized in his time. Usually he healed them. Always he showed them the Father's love. His words and deeds thus became controversial, as he met needs while defying human labels, laws and regulations. In the end, his ministry to the poor, rejected, and sinful in his time drew hatred and rejection from those who wanted to keep their biases firmly in place. In the Gospels, this is how he died, and those "least of these" are the ones who first recognized him resurrected."

 

Trusting the good old days too much?

I'm old enough to trust the practicality and wisdom of the good old days. The people who came before us got so many things right that it's easy to believe they had all the answers. I've admired this quality of the tea party Republicans. I understand their zeal to keep certain things as they've "always" been. But, like them, I've had to confront the reality that some traditional systems are not as efficient and effective as I'd like to believe.

Three years ago I bought an Aermotor windmill at a ranch auction west of Billings.  The windmill was old, but unused.  Only the sail section had been put together, with the unassembled parts residing in a barn for many years.   It was an incredible bargain from my perspective – old fashioned construction, with minimal wear and tear.  This year I determined to install it over a well near our farmers ditch to pump water for livestock on our west field. 

This summer, with the tower completed, I started on the wheel, confident I could assemble those sections that had never been put together. Soon I found myself really struggling.  Parts were far from fitting and fastening locations did not match up. I assumed it was because irresponsible parties had mistreated those sections and bent the rims or sails. I got help from a neighbor interested in the project. He pointed out how the wheel rods (like spokes of a bike wheel) interfered with the sails. My mind couldn't even consider the possibility that the sail sections were not correctly assembled decades ago.

For two weeks I struggled to bend the sails and the rods to fit the rims. I used a pipe clamp and a fence stretcher. I didn't care what it took to bend the steel to my will.  I was confident that I was winning, by brute force. On October 13, 2013 I stood back and took a look at my work.  On that day, the light pierced through my cognitive dissonance.  I saw not one bent rim from mistreatment, but two sail sections I had forced into place, with spokes and rims bent askew.

At that moment I started to consider the possibility that my trust in conventional wisdom of the good old days was misguided. As I checked carefully the diagrams and narrative of instructions I found online, my worst fears were realized. The original assembly of the sail section was incorrect.   Four of the six sections needed to be disassembled and reconfigured, taking into account the full 10 foot diameter of the wheel. What happened next was amazing. I no longer needed to use my fence stretcher or my pipe clamp. In an hour I finished installing the last four correctly assembled sections. Now the wheel looks right and spins true with the mill gearbox.  I'm more confident that my new windmill will pump water this winter as intended, assuming rain will stop and the dirt around the tower will be firm enough to bring in a crane. 

Our nation may be at a similar place with the current health care system reforms. Lots of people express dislike for Obamacare, but not necessarily for the same reasons. Some believe that the reforms will increase entitlement spending for our growing poor and elderly population, bankrupting our country.  But some of us in Big Horn County are not enamored with the Affordable Care Act because there is no public pay option.  We feel that excessive health insurance costs are already bankrupting families.  Some of us believe that health insurance is not really an optional luxury item that certain people can get by without. Trying to force these disparate views together as a collective American rejection of Obamacare is a fallacy.

Yet the Affordable Care Act can really help Big Horn County families access health care without turning our personal finances into a tailspin. See on line for answers to health care financial questions in Montana: http://montanahealthanswers.com/families/

We don't have to walk away from or trash the windmill wheel of governance over health care in this country. Obamacare was enacted into law, with strong bipartisan negotiation among our elected representatives in Washington well before Obama refused to negotiate the dismantlement of the law. It's time to congratulate the tea party Republicans on confronting their own cognitive dissonance stop trying to derail Obamacare. Now let's get about the business of reducing the deficit, increasing affordable health care for all of us, and addressing the real sources of irrational and foolish deficit spending in all sectors of our economy.

David Graber
graberdb@gmail.com
Hardin, MT
www.greenwoodfarmmt.org

Where children who bully learn bullying

Like virtually every career teacher, I encountered bullying among students. Most of us also encounter bullying in adult relationships. Too often we don't think of it that way. But it's clear to me that children see adults bully, and they bully too.

After reading a letter in the Billings Gazette September 23 by an ordained minister and citizen of Big Horn County, I decided to set my usual column aside and offer this letter on adult bullying:

"It is encouraging to see public school officials at last recognizing and taking steps to prevent bullying among children and older students. However, we have ignored the equally significant problem of bullying among adults, especially as it plays out in the workplace. We are incredibly naïve, or in denial, when we fail to take seriously the bullying behavior we adults display almost routinely. Where do we suppose our children learn to be bullies?

"Considerable research about bullying in the workplace has been done in Scandinavian countries and the United Kingdom, as well as in the United States. Yet little public attention has been given to the prevalence of such bullying and to the negative impact it has on the individuals who are targeted, as well the organizations where it occurs.

"Bullying is a costly behavioral disease that is both individual and corporate in nature. An individual can act as a bully, but an entire organization can have a bullying nature as well. Bullying consists of repeated, intentional actions designed to harm (and intimidate) the target person or persons. Some examples of bullying behavior are: ridiculing or accusing a person in front of others, being physically or verbally intimidating, damaging a person's reputation by rumor or gossip, setting impossible or conflicting deadlines in order to undermine a person's productivity, treating an individual differently from the rest of the work group, lying about a person's performance and retaliating against a person for complaining.

"Researchers suggest that the majority of bullies found in the workplace are women and, overwhelmingly, their targets are other women. Studies also suggest that people who demonstrate bullying behavior have themselves been the targets of bullies. This contagious nature of bullying is a great reason to recognize it when it happens and address it promptly.

"But addressing the bullying that takes place at work can be a difficult and risky undertaking. Remember, bullying is all about wielding power and control over those who are less powerful and instilling fear in them and any others who might be looking on. Confronting the bully can cost status, relationships, even one's job. Too often a person's bullying behavior becomes the elephant in the room that no one wants to confront.

"That was the case when I went to work as a chaplain for a hospice organization a few years ago. Beginning with the first staff meeting I attended, I observed the supervisor belittling certain workers in front of everyone else. My co-workers were quick to explain that the supervisor had behaved that way for as long as they had known her; but no one dared to do anything about it for fear of losing their job.

"Sometimes I came across co-workers in the restrooms crying after an encounter with this supervisor. One of my co-workers became frantic when she received a phone call from the supervisor, telling my co-worker she wanted to meet with her. My co-worker was terrified that she was going to be fired without warning. She had seen that happen before. And a month later she saw it happen again when I was suddenly fired without warning after first trying to address the bullying behavior with the supervisor herself and then reporting it to the human resources department.

"This is an example of the devastation bullying can cause. Studies of individuals who have been the targets of bullying show that they can suffer from depression, anxiety to the point of having digestive and sleep disturbances and stress to the point of developing post-traumatic stress disorder. Lost income and difficulties in relationships with family and friends can be additional costs.

"There are also significant costs to organizations that tolerate bullying among their employees, including: employee absences, grievances, resignations and requests for transfer; difficulties meeting organizational goals; legal costs associated with investigations and lawsuits; and damage to the organization's reputation.

"It does not make sense to stand against bullying among our children and yet remain quiet about bullying among us adults, especially in the workplace. Bullying behavior is destructive, costly and wrong wherever it develops."

 —From a letter to the Billings Gazette Sepember 23, 2013 by Catherine Card

The following, not in the Big Horn County News, are links and information on bullying:

http://www.splcenter.org/get-informed/news/teaching-tolerance-magazine-examines-how-to-end-bullying-behavior

Read more: http://billingsgazette.com/news/opinion/guest/guest-opinion-adult-bullies-take-toll-on-u-s-workers/article_bcfb75e9-b971-5ac6-90dc-7b30088d6c39.html#ixzz2frt6CMD8

http://www.bullyingprevention.org/repository//Best%20Practices%20PDFs/AdultBulliesAtWork.pdf

http://www.washingtonea.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=470

Adult-to-adult bullying affects workplaces throughout the world, often taking the form of sexual harassment or illegal discrimination. Bullying is very prevalent in the United States; however, bullying that does not take the form of illegal discrimination or sexual harassment is not illegal. The research reveals the dramatic consequences that this type of bullying has on individuals and workplaces. Targets of bullies often suffer from serious health conditions as a result of being bullied and workplace efficiency is severely reduced because of the overwhelming strain that bullying can place on targets.

In schools, adult-to-adult bullying can have even more dire effects, such as influencing student behavior and legitimizing student bullying tactics. Because of this, it is very important that school employees familiarize themselves with how to effectively deal with bullies.

 

http://www.theravive.com/research/The-Psychology-Of-Bullying

Abstract

Bullying is a serious issue that is faced by many people, and can leave a child to live in complete fear. It is destructive, abusive, and intolerable to exist in any home or school. There are all types of bullies and all types of victims yet bullies have certain commonalities as do the victims. Bullying can cause lifelong psychological effects that may require therapy in order to overcome. In more serious cases, the bullying has gotten so bad that the victim chooses to take their own life just to escape the bullying they endure. It is helpful to recognize the behavior of a bully as well as the signs that someone is a victim as the sooner the signs are spotted the sooner help can arrive for all parties involved. Here you will find the signs and symptoms of the bullying/victim relationship and find out what can be done to curb this behavior and help someone who is in a toxic situation.

Bullies have existed since the beginning of time as have the victims who have suffered from the bullying. With so many different ways to bully others in this day in age, it is getting harder and harder to control it and protect the victims. The age old question though is what makes a bully a bully? Who are bullies and what are their motivations? Why are certain people targets of bullies more than others? This paper will look into bullying from a psychological standpoint and attempt to take a look into the mind of a bully. There will also be exploration into the types of bullying that are faced today which are staggering considering the new world of technology that we now live in.

 

http://www.lifeafteradultbullying.com/

Welcome to Life After Adult Bullying

 

Having been a target of bullies in the past l have a deep dislike of them. I decided to create this site because adult bullying is too often ignored, with looks of disbelief from people that such should be going on between adults.

Knowing the way bullying can destroy lives, it is time for people to start to fight back and this is my contribution towards that fight

--
David Graber

Hardin, MT

graberdb@gmail.com